@Yeaitsgc: I wonder if whiskey thinks about me too.
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@QwertyJones3: My wife & I couldn't agree on which psychic to go to. They were all sad and depressing. "What did you do?" We finally found a happy medium
@Book_Krazy: 9: Whatcha watching? Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there? Me: Two people. 9: Are they married? Me: Not for long.
@TaleSagaLore: Coolest jobs: 1)Beer maker 2)Secretary of War 3)Ninja 4)Guy who pushes scared skydivers
@Rollinintheseat: When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there.