@Yeaitsgc: I wonder if whiskey thinks about me too.
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@seamusmckracken: If you're hitting the gas every time she tries to open the passenger side door, remember, the 8th time is always the funniest.
@dixonshuman: It's like my cat doesn't realize my retirement plan involves him doing something interesting enough to be famous on the Internet.
@BartenderMB: My girlfriend said that sex is better on vacation. That wasn't the postcard I was expecting.