@Yeaitsgc: I wonder if whiskey thinks about me too.
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@robin_991: My husband left me this morning. Again. he'll be back after work, but still. I'm getting really sick of these games.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs.
@ArfMeasures: KID IN PARK [crying] I think my mum might of left me here ME: Oh no! WIFE: Talk to him ME: Hey, listen kid *kneels down* it's might HAVE
@CruisinSoozan: Anyone want to do the laundry for me? Im exhausted. I can pay you in beanie babies or hot monkey sex. The monkey's name is Earl. He bites.