@cloudypianos: i wonder what my cat is thinking about when she sits curled up at my feet staring at me for hours and sharpening her hattori hanzo sword
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@chuuew: THERAPIST: Your notes say that you "scare easily" and are "quite disagreeable". ME: *from behind the couch* That's not true.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don't want anymore children living on our street.
@CMHorrocks: These racing car drivers are making a lot of pit stops. You'd think they would have went before the race.