@cloudypianos: i wonder what my cat is thinking about when she sits curled up at my feet staring at me for hours and sharpening her hattori hanzo sword
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@flashember: [Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE
@MissNaughty1801: Him: you are correcting my every word for the last six years of our marriage Me: for the last 7 years
@BrianIncognito: My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.