@LoriLuvsShoes: I wonder what Twitter employees do at work to waste time
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@WritePlay: When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed.
@WGladstone: My upstairs landlord asked if screams were coming from my apt or if she was dreaming. Either way, one of us has a terrifying neighbor.
@mommywhitfield: Me: Ugh, these edibles are crap. I don't feel a thing. Cockroach sitting next to me on the sofa: Tell me about it, sister.
@Pork_Sword_: America: I can’t believe Facebook is spying on me! I may delete my account! Also America: Alexa? Order me more toilet paper.