@LoriLuvsShoes: I wonder what Twitter employees do at work to waste time
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@noog: God: NOAH. Noah: Yes Lord? God: Where are the land sharks, flying spiders and the jumping snakes? Noah: Oh nooooo, did I forget those?
@CulturedRuffian: Sorry I asked if your grandparents were part of the Halloween display at your house.
@WouldbeAllen: JACOB MARLEY: 3 ghosts will visit you! ME: do u count? JM: what ME: you're a ghost. Do u count? JM: dude this the kinda shit they don't like
@DannyZuker: My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn't seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with.