@LoriLuvsShoes: I wonder what Twitter employees do at work to waste time
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@Smooheed: If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
@daemonic3: Caveman1: look, I invent wheel Caveman2: what we do now? Caveman1: wait for Jesus to take wheel Caveman2: dum dum Jesus not invented yet
@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out.
@mommywhitfield: *Toddler walks up, kisses my knee, turns away* "Aw! Aren't you sweet?" *Toddler kisses refrigerator, cabinet door and dishwasher* "Oh."