@LoriLuvsShoes: I wonder what Twitter employees do at work to waste time
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@ElgatoEsmio: We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER
@behindyourback: I'm rabidly against plagiarism, but I guess if you're going to steal something, a Columbus joke at least makes sense
@Nickadoo: My urologist is weird. I peed in a cup. He drank it and said, "You're fine." Then he paid me. Don't choose a doctor from Craigslist.