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@LoriLuvsShoes: I wonder what Twitter employees do at work to waste time
@MarcusOreally: Boredom is the leading cause of pregnancy.
Unless you're on Twitter 24/7. Then it becomes the leading form of birth control.
@SunnySideUp1987: Not to brag but I can produce cute children. DNA and all.
@WritePlay: *knuckle tats*
( S | H | H | H) ( H | H | H | H )
(I'm a librarian)
@ShawnHatosy: I ate a chocolate bar in bed last night & my wife said, "you have a problem" so I replied, "no, you have a problem; I have a chocolate bar."
@BrainFumbles: I swear to god, the next car that cuts me off will be driving in front of me.