@Eightinchgoat: I wonder which lie came first: "Oops, wrong hole!" or "That's never happened before!"?
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@celestinelea90: Was in the hot tub a full 3 minutes before I noticed the floating chipmunk so probably don't ask me questions about a crime scene
@SteveSuckington: Me: omg can smoking weed make u hallucinate? Dog making pancakes: lol that wasn't weed dude
@That_Damn_Duck: My cat is walking a very fine line between being cute & being sold to the Korean restaurant down the street.