@Eightinchgoat: I wonder which lie came first: "Oops, wrong hole!" or "That's never happened before!"?
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@TwiCarlyGleeber: Girl likes 'boys with accents <333' on Facebook. I charge at her. "HELLOUGH!! I AM HELMUT, FROM RUSSIA. I WORK AS STRANGLER AT MEAT FACTORY"
@Tha6God: I HAVE BEEN TO FOUR DIFFERENT FABRIC STORES LOOKING FOR THIS 'WIFEY MATERIAL'! WHERE COULD THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL BE!?
@meganamram: I have a friend visiting from out of town. What's your fave place in LA to look at your phone??
@Phook75: Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down at