@theoduscrane: I wonder who ate the first egg. Like who said, "I'm a eat the white ball that chicken just shit out."
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@hippieswordfish: it's easy as pie! 'what does that even mean?' *pie stumbles in drunk* pie: i just had sex with the homeless guy under the bridge 'oh'
@Barknado69: Waiter: how did you two meet Me: this is actually a blind date W: *much louder* SORRY I SAID HOW DID YOU TWO MEET
@elle91: In 3rd grade the bus driver missed my house but I was too embarrassed to say anything so I got off at the last stop and started a new life.