@omgthatspunny: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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@LizHackett: I overheard a dad at Starbucks tell a kid not to tell Mom he got a cake pop for breakfast, so I guess I'm part of their web of lies now too.
@Tbone7219: A big shout out to my cat for hissing at an empty closet and keeping me in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
@ClickBaite: [CAVE] BABY DRAGON: Dad, I hate trolls! They are disgusting, evil creatures! DAD DRAGON: Just push them aside and eat your vegetables son.
@RickAaron: In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.