@abhorrent_wife: I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it.
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@TheRolo: Wife: I think we need a break. *Titanic crashes into iceberg* Husband: THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? Wife: Yes.
@myqkaplan: okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?
@TheAlexNevil: 6 was jealous about other kids getting notes in their lunches, so I put one in his: "Sorry, I ate your pudding. Love, Dad."