@abhorrent_wife: I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it.
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@trevso_electric: Welcome to earth! You have a choice of private parts. Would you like the one that creates life & bleeds or the constant bad decision maker?
@EndhooS: "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Show him Edna.. [mum stops slicing carrots] *starts violently gagging until a baby slides out her mouth*
@TheRolo: 911: What is your emergency? Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.