@abhorrent_wife: I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it.
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@lazerdoov: Maybe Gotye was an actual goat that sold it's soul for the chance to be a human with a hit song and now he is back to just being a goat
@Contwixt: Went to get coffee for a coworker. I effed up the order, but used it as a teaching opportunity to illustrate the dangers of outsourcing.
@thenatewolf: Tell me more about these male enhancement pills... Will they help me chop wood better? How about pelts? Will I know how to make pelts?