@abhorrent_wife: I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it.
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@FilthyRichmond: The cashier at McDonald's was more than happy to warm up some Diet Coke for my baby's bottle.
@shutupmikeginn: Internet Explorer: so about last night Me: Oh, i used you for flash. IE: Are we back together, am i your default? Me: don't make this weird
@Pat_Bren: The worst thing about living in the city must be cleaning all the dead parkour people out of your chimney.