@BallsMcBallski: I wore a suit to Walmart and they made me their king.
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@AndRyanTF: You ever watch a really stupid person for like 10 mins and wonder how they haven't been hit by a train or carried off by a giant eagle yet?
@InternetHippo: TRUMP: She’s too scripted HILLARY (reading from teleprompter): Mr. Trump, (voice steadily rising) Adobe Reader is ready to update
@thatUPSdude: For Halloween I put a empty bowl outside my door with a sign that says "please take one" That way it looks like I actually had candy once
@Goggner: Social services would take the kids away if they saw my house right now. Does anyone have their phone number?