@Jessberrie: I worked as a programmer for autocorrect but the fried me for no raisin #PunYourJob
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@TheTweetOfGod: Your overexposure to Korean pop music last year will be nothing compared to your overexposure to Korean nuclear radiation this year.
@OkieGirl405: I changed my relationship status to "I'm sharpening my knives" on Facebook so my boyfriend's family will never come visit
@MumsieEsq: Just blocked all users from Central & South America. I doubt this "Zika" virus can spread thru social media but why take the risk?