@JeffLoveness: "I would absolutely say I'm an introvert!" - Guy screaming to his table full of friends at brunch.
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@RocketRankoon: No mister movie ticket guy that's not a bag of cheetos in my jacket that's my enlarged heart for the love of cinema
@sunexplode: Keep your longtime co-workers guessing and questioning their self-worth by forgetting their names.
@atanenhaus: Do other animals have signature tranquilizers, or are horses just especially stressed out?
@TheCatWhisprer: Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan.