@JeffLoveness: "I would absolutely say I'm an introvert!" - Guy screaming to his table full of friends at brunch.
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@c_gawker: if you think about all the people you didn't marry, you've had a positive impact on virtually every life in the world
@scriptdave: Biden: I wanna join the protest. Obama: Joe, we've been over this. Biden: But they're-- Obama: How about some ice cream? . . . Biden: Okay.
@thejamietighe: Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.