@JeffLoveness: "I would absolutely say I'm an introvert!" - Guy screaming to his table full of friends at brunch.
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@TheBigBatman: Wife left a note on the fridge it says "It's not working, gone to my mom's" I opened it and opened a beer, it's cold, the fridge works fine?
@WilliamAder: I think Diane knows I was her Secret Santa at this morning's office party, because this afternoon I had to borrow my stapler back from her.
@MattFnWallace: And then come the thinkpieces. "ARE Cats Really iPhones?" "Why Telling People Who Think Cats Are iPhones They're Wrong Isn't the Answer"