@JeffLoveness: "I would absolutely say I'm an introvert!" - Guy screaming to his table full of friends at brunch.
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@illiter8too: sure I’d love to attend your baby shower, I mean babies are so rare, there’s only like, what, a half-billion of them at any given time or something
@mofrorock: A prickle of porcupines A murder of crows A flamboyance of flamingos A twitter of depressed, alcoholic perverts A shrewdness of apes A parla
@T_Bonezzz_: When I'm at a restaurant and see 'secret sauce' on the menu, I immediately tell the people at the table next to me
@fro_vo: [beach] Me: if a shark stops moving it will die Wife: for the last time you can't kill a shark with a stop sign Me: it's the law diane