@JeffLoveness: "I would absolutely say I'm an introvert!" - Guy screaming to his table full of friends at brunch.
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@markleggett: What if birds have tiny human-like ears underneath their feathers? That's certainly something to think about, but not during sex.
@yerpalmildsauce: WARDEN: You have been sentenced to the Electric Cher ME: in the what now *a metallic voice sings out: ＤＯ ＹＯＵ ＢＥＬＩＥＶＥ ＩＮ ＬＩＦＥ ＡＦＴＥＲ ＬＯＶＥ*
@flashember: [Worm sitting alone] WAITER: Dinner for 1? Dumb question W: But- *worm cuts self in half* *waiter shrieks* 2nd WORM: I'll have the prime rib