@InternetHippo: I would absolutely slay the dating game if looks and personality didn’t matter
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@WetzelGeek: I pick up my dog's poop with empty Snickers wrappers. What I do with it afterwards is strictly on a need-to-know basis.
@MasterOfMoppets: These coffee flavored rice cakes are delicious, but chewy. [eats another coaster]
@sixfootcandy: Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
@inanimatecorpse: Wife: I said any fantasy, I wore the police uniform! Isn't that enough? Me: Say the words Wife: Ok... sir, I have bad news about your wife