@SonOfCha: I would be a terrible stalker because A) not motivated enough 7) you would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
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@Darlainky: Interviewer- Marlene, what inspired you to pursue a life of comedy? Marlene- Well, I'm glad you asked... *Mouth directly on mic* YOUR FACE
@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion
@LizHackett: If you marry someone a few years older, one thing they love is when any classic rock song comes on and you ask "Is this Led Zeppelin?"