@Axenbane: I would be completely shocked if I ever won the lottery. Mainly because I don't play the lottery.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JonasPolsky: I was about to commit suicide, but then a Nicki Minaj song came on the radio -- so I committed suicide twice.
@SamGrittner: BARNES: "What if it wasn't just empty cabinets?" NOBLE: "Let's sell books!" AND: "This is why we make such a great team."
@AimeeHelene1: (Gamblers Anonymous meeting) Leader: Bob, tell us why you're here. Me: $20 it's a Blackjack addiction. Group: *all rushing to place bets*
@bridger_w: When someone says, "I haven't seen you in forever," a fun response is, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"