@TheNardvark: I would describe the cologne on the guy who was just in the elevator with me as "all of it."
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@Just_some_girl2: Seeing twin toddler red haired girls on leashes in Target was my birth control reminder for the day.
@UncleDuke1969: "Make him press 1 again." "Good." "Now, 3 minutes of silence." "He still there?" "Give him 18 minutes of pan flute." - Call Center Training
@Vodkantots: Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11.
@Quartzjixler: My office manager emailed all 400 employees to inform us that our new paper towel dispensers AREN'T automatic. The human race is doomed.