@sarcasm_inc: I would dress like Batman more often, but I cant run the risk of giant aliens invading and mistaking me for a large Pez dispenser.
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@AnkCoupleTO: [job interview] Panel: We're looking for someone with intensity, focus, passion and drive Me: *adjusting volume on Ipod* sorry what?
@copymama: Hey, sexy. Wanna merge our DNA and make mini versions of ourselves who will never give us a moment’s peace and destroy all our stuff?
@truegritrumble: (Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy.
@_Tempo11: Sure I get excited when he unzips his pants. I'm pretending it's the sound of his body bag.