@shawnspree: I would fake a heart attack but this coworker would just try to finish his story in the ambulance ride to the hospital.
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@sixthformpoet: If you watch Twitter backwards, it's about millions of socially-awkward people gradually learning how to survive in the real world.
@dreamthievin: Left a plaster cast of my mouth at the bakery so they know exactly how big to bake the cupcakes
@QwertyJones3: "I'm usually closed off. But if you get close to me, you'll find that I'll really open up." -Automatic sliding doors