@BiIIMurray: I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
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@StellaRtwot: *phone rings Me: Hello? Telemarketer: Hello how are you today? Me to son: Come here baby, SpiderMan is on the phone!
@Bownuggets: Hate it when we run out of clean towels so I have to ride my white stallion Gregory up and down the driveway real fast to dry my mullet
@drunktweets81: I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.