@recoveringbapti: I would like to see more realistic math problems in schools cause there ain't no way some kid has 75 melons without stealing a produce truck
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@jazmasta: If you are unsure whether your kitten is male or female try this: - Tickle it - If HE laughs it's a male - If SHE laughs it's a female
@novicefather: Shoutout to that one time I confused narcolepsy and necrophilia during a job interview.
@awesomeseank: Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and "we'll see what happens" is considered inappropriate.
@AmishPornStar1: So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?