@MensHumor: I would like to thank Tetris for providing me w/ the skills to jam as many dishes as possible in my dishwasher.
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@fro_vo: Date: any pets? Me: a pet rock D: lol at least u don’t have to housetrain it Me: *flashback to piles of pebbles all over my house* haha yeah
@LinajkReturns: You have beautiful eyes. Too bad they're attached to the head of a stark raving lunatic.
@SamSykesSwears: "If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."
@WilliamAder: I guess the guy who named the space between stuff in the universe "space" was just tired.