@MensHumor: I would like to thank Tetris for providing me w/ the skills to jam as many dishes as possible in my dishwasher.
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@heartlessX0: Bartender: "Do you want a drink, miss?"nnMe: "What are my choices?"nnBartender: "Yes or No."
@longwall26: I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
@KeetPotato: [scrabble] god: 43 points angel: squid? wtf is squid? god: it's an animal angel: you can't just make up animals god: [jim-faces into camera]
@browneyegirl9: If you don't like the idea of wiping someone's ass in the middle of eating a delicious meal, you probably shouldn't become a parent.