@The_MartiniGirl: I would love my job so much more if I didn't have to hide my flask.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jade_VK: I only carry cash anymore in case I need to make a dramatic exit in the middle of coffee with a detective
@TheTweetOfGod: Fear and ignorance would gay-marry each other if they weren't both opposed to it.
@13spencer: An Italian rugby player will miss a match against Scotland after being bitten by a dog; Scotland was quoted as saying "good boy."
@slimmy_shady: My neighbour hit the post reversing out of the driveway. He hit the poor man delivering it too.