@lisaxy424: I would most likely die like 45 minutes into a zombie apocalypse, and even more likely it would not be zombie apocalypse related.
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@E_lok44: He asked why I put my stick figures on my dash, not the bumper. I had to explain that it was an actual photo of my relatives.
@WilliamAder: Was standing in my front yard this evening and some neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.
@TheDairylandDon: Life isn't about the moments that take our breath away. That's asthma. You're thinking of asthma.
@freypalm: “Welcome to Fight Club,” said the man with the rock hard abs. I looked around, clutching my kite, becoming worried.