@shkeeber: I would never take candy from a stranger, but I'd probably follow a trail of bacon straight into the back of a windowless white van.
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@DjJazzyJeffro: A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!
@stevevsninjas: *fire alarm goes off at typewriter factory, causing all employees to jump up at the same time and wedge together in the doorway*
@3sunzzz: My son is suspended? Yes, in-school suspension. So he goes to school? Yes, but he's suspended. Suspended IN THE SCHOOL? Yes. Idiot.
@DevilryFun: Looking back, my financial health took a turn for the worse right after I broke my piggy bank.