@RidiculousSheri: I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
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@panmidwest: i just bought a used car and the owners left their “baby on board” sign in it. i don’t have any children so i just wrote “former” on it
@thepunningman: [interview] Boss: Your CV says eggs, milk, bread Me: That's right [cut to supermarket] Wife: Excuse me, where are the attention to details?