@trevso_electric: I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather's pubic hair than "pull an all-nighter" with you.
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@CauseWereGuys: I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologize to the man at the next urinal.
@Hormonella: Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you.
@RatchetAfrican: Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name. Coincidence? I think not...
@MoistPork: I just typed "relationship" and it came up "delusional" on my phone. First time I realized my phone really is smart.