@abhorrent_wife: I would totally get into a stranger's windowless van if they took me away from my family for an hour.
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@ZackBornstein: Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma. Teen: Huh? Doctor: He's in airplane mode now. Teen: OHHH NOOOOO!!
@Tups13: I've discovered the best way to get attention is to sit on the coffee table and meow loudly.
@Reverend_Scott: "Daddy, where do babies come from?" From mommies. "How do they get inside?" CAN'T U ASK WHY THE SKY IS BLUE HAVEN'T U WONDERED ABOUT THAT