@abhorrent_wife: I would totally get into a stranger's windowless van if they took me away from my family for an hour.
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@ruinedpicnic: "Well boy," I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, "naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."
@Rich_McCarthy: Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife "promised" she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I'm livid.
@UGotMeRight: I think I'll go to church this morning. I need to repent all my sins & pray for the neighbors wife to covet me.