@dumbbeezie: I would watch the Bachelor if everyone who doesn’t get a rose gets thrown into a volcano
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@ElleAys: My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I'm fearful of her college days.
@murrman5: dave is coming to play poker "dave from college or dave who walks like he's in a video game?" [dave takes 3 tries to walk through open door]
@TattedChanel: 'Find a guy who ruins your lipstick, not your mascara ' lol mate ruin any part of my makeup nd ur gettin smacked down
@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.