@wolfpupy: "i wouldnt be caught dead" someone throws a net over my dead corpse "gotcha!!" "noooo"
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@simoncholland: Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.
@Try2StopME: Friend: "Dude, me & my girlfriend are getting married." ME: "Wow! when?" Friend: "Me on 27th April and she on 14th June."
@JohnDuffy21: Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya.