@TitansHomer: I wouldn't say I "missed" your call.
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@AIMMadellynne: Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers.. If you do find one... What's your plan?
@BigPlanetEarth: People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.
@PinkCamoTO: Interviewer: So why did you leave your last job? Me: Someone found out my birthday and decorated my cubicle with balloons.
@cuckoo_cachu: Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA.