@TitansHomer: I wouldn't say I "missed" your call.
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@iwearaonesie: [laying in bed] wife: Did you remember to find a stud before you hung the TV up? me: Yes *sound of TV crashing to the floor* me: No
@backporchlady: Asking me if I want a bag for the box of tampons I just bought is like asking me if they're for here or to go.
@NoorShamma: Jewelry make the perfect gifts because if things don't work out, she can throw them away and make you suffer. Take Titanic for example.