@lilgapeach30: I wouldn't say I never exercise. Occasionally, my nose runs.
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@HomeProbably: There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she's left. She obviously wasn't blind at all.
@nojeshua: [mysterious British man rescues me] Me: How? Him: Bond [introducing himself as we leave prison], bail bond.
@sip_at_home_mom: If my toddler doesn't stay in bed this time, he's watching Game of Thrones. I don't even care that he hasn't seen the first season yet.