@ricsem: I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?
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@TheToddWilliams: Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won't fix... Kid: mfflr..frrrr..strnnn
@iwearaonesie: Anytime someone loses something in the office HR doesn't ask if anyone's seen it, they just send out an email that says "Give it back Josh"
@ericsshadow: Interview: "What's your greatest weakness?" *I look at my watch then lean in* How much time do you have?
@Duke1173: They ordered two extra large pizzas at work. I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.