@ricsem: I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?
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@LostCatDog: This doctor once told me eating a bagel was like eating 5 slices of bread and I was like ok, cool, I like bread
@dafloydsta: WIFE: Where's the dog? *flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.
@ericallenhatch: THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985): Five white heterosexual suburban American 17-year-olds manage to find common ground.
@loudmouth_usa: 1) Pull black socks to knees 2) Wear sandals 3) Wear Magnum PI shorts 4) Make ball sack slightly visible -Grandpa's guide to lawn mowing