@AlexvanBeek: I would've thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited 'til it was dark instead.
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@HomeProbably: I hate it when I'm by the window and make eye contact with someone outside, so I understand why this lady is shocked to see me up a tree.
@theshantilly: 9: I'm writing a book based on a true story. Me: Make me look good. 9: FINE. I'll write something else.
@thatUPSdude: I love when you're choking someone and they are all "I can't breathe", duh I'm choking you.
@myonlymizztake: My experience with organized crime was getting two friends to help me tip a vending machine while I reached up inside for chips.