@realHamOnWry: I wrote 2793 tweets in advance. So if I die tomorrow, you won’t know until 2018.
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@AristotlesNZ: Need hospital etiquette advice. How long should you wait after they pull the plug to ask if you can use the socket to charge your phone?
@Cage_unlocked: 5 steps to a happy marriage: 1. Doritos 2. Oreos 3. Pez 4. Mr. Noodles 5. Oops this is my grocery list. 6. Still applicable.
@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: I'll always be here for you.... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I'll be over there for you.