@thejessbess: I wrote a poem: Dinosaurs, they used to roar, but... No more. Still mad atchu, meteor.
@murrman5: titanic but with Jackie Chan
"so he like fights the iceberg?"
no everything is exactly the same
@LoveNLunchmeat: You could murder someone in California and they wouldn't even arrest you as long as you properly composted the body.
@Book_Krazy: "What's that?"
A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom.
*puts in dollar* "WTH!?!"
@o__0Dev: There’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants.
@SteveSuckington: They say you should play dead if a bear attacks you. That shouldn't be that hard once he snaps your torso in half.