@NotKevinSheedy: I yell "5 second rule"when ever a girl sits on the ground.
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@girlwithatail: This woman's "I'm deleting my Facebook" post has 52 comments and she's replied to all of them. Not a strong start.
@Crunk_Jews: [first day as Tour Guide in History Museum] "And if you look over here you'll see a lot more really old shit."
@MrsMikePatton: My boyfriend got pissed because I didn't swallow. Is it my fault I have a nut allergy?