@NotKevinSheedy: I yell "5 second rule"when ever a girl sits on the ground.
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@daemonic3: My family can't decide what kind of Lab to get (Chocolate, Yellow, Black, etc.) so we drew straws. I won, so we're getting a Meth.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u? "Cuz im going too fast?" Cop: Yes, slow down. "But it's been 6 months-" Cop: U can't move in with her yet.
@MeganGetsMoney: Logged out of Twitter for a few hours... Finally graduated college, lost some weight, showered, read 17 books, and started a family.
@shkeeber: My bank has informed me that Twitter followers can not be used as collateral for a car loan. You guys are useless.