@NotKevinSheedy: I yell "5 second rule"when ever a girl sits on the ground.
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@jimmytorosian: Simon: I wrote a song Garfunkel: *reads lyrics* Garfunkel: "I am a rock. I am an island" dude I'm like right here. I thought we were friends
@pauleggleston: I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I expect that'll come back to bite me.
@missekay: People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don't understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.
@mydmac: I love eating Swiss pancakes. They're like regular pancakes but neutral, so I can eat as many as I want.