@LucTabone: #IAmHonoredBy my 12 year old telling me he needs me. He wanted a new gadget of course but the thought was there.
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@SoulYodeler: Had I known you were coming I would have baked a cake. Instead you get to watch me decapitate an iguana. You should call ahead.
@mrjohndarby: [looking at our kids baby photos] me: ugh, this one came out real bad wife: oh yeh, just get rid of it me: ok. *shouting* TIMMY! PACK YOUR BAGS
@KentWGraham: I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I’m now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates’ pants.
@QwertyJones3: MANAGER: Great news guys, I finally got us a gig BAND: Thank God! Finally! MANAGER: *installing RAM* Yeah it'll make this PC way faster