@sammyrhodes: Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.
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@joerogan: Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
@daemonic3: FRIEND: Women want guys who take charge ME: ok [later] WAITER: [to date] Ready to- ME: [shoves waiter and grabs notepad] Ready to order?
@SSDated: If Kevin Bacon never said "want some bacon with your eggs" to a lonely chick in a bar, life just doesn't make sense anymore.
@mattytalks: I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in