@nPhelendriqal: Ibuprofen, youbuprofen, weallbuprofen.
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@UghNotAgain: Forced to use Axe Shampoo & Conditioner this morning and now my hair is high fiving people and calling them Braaaah.
@TheTalkingPipe: The milk in my fridge went bad. It beat up my orange juice and started selling meth to all the condiments.
@Dawn_M_: Okay stranger, it's clear that we walk at the exact same pace, speed up or at least hold my hand.
@markedly: My teenage son Filbert was ejected from the Young Republicans for naming his pet lizard Bernie Salamanders. You bet your buns he's grounded.