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@nairamk: Ice Bucket Challenge Champion since 1945 ??
@BuckyIsotope: This little piggy went to the market
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy spread a swine flu virus
And killed 250 million people
@DaddyJew: Cop: do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: *super high* nice try, license and registration
@briangaar: In my opinion Scotland should be independent, otherwise Mel Gibson died for nothing
@TheKrisWilson: Hey Twitter, you get a new comic EARLY
@sween: Hipster sushi restaurants only serve eye rolls.