@AmishPornStar1: Ice cream is clearly God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
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@DevilryFun: Before marriage: fantasizes spending life together. After marriage: fantasizes spending life insurance alone.
@MsSweetTeaz: Girls dont dress up to impress guys. We dress up to impress other girls. If we wanted to impress guys we would just run around naked all day
@ChicorelliStar: Just found out my daughter's super power is repeating what I've said about others as soon as she meets them.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Your resume says you're good at jumping to conclusions?" Me: "When can I start?"