@BuckyIsotope: Ice, ice, baby. Ice, ice, baby. - Me taking inventory at the cryogenic infant storage facility.
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@LaceyNycole: *brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut.
@deankarrier: If The Karate Kid taught me anything, it’s Daniels mom never cared enough to question why her son spent so much time in an old mans shed
@shariv67: "I'd make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem." "Um, population control?" "Kill all the storks. BOOM!"