@BuckyIsotope: Ice, ice, baby. Ice, ice, baby. - Me taking inventory at the cryogenic infant storage facility.
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@NewDadNotes: Angel: so you named this screwdriver a flathead cause it's head is flat? God: yep Angel: What are you gonna call this other one? God: Phil
@cloudypianos: everything in the world's horrible now not like the good old days of black plague, holocaust, atomic bombs, holodomor, khmer rouge, crusades
@daemonic3: Here you go, Merry Christmas! "Dad, why'd you wrap our gifts in soft fabric?" Because I wanted to make- Mom: NO DON'T My presents felt
@OhNoSheTwitnt: What do you call the yellow ones? -Yellow labs. And the black ones? -Black labs. So the brown ones are- -No we named those after dog poison.