@shhrugg: Ice skating is like walking in cursive
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@ShesARealGenius: Sardine Wife: "What's wrong?" Sardine Husband: "I just need some space, Linda." Sardine Wife: "WHERE EXACTLY SHOULD I GO, KENNETH"
@JohnLyonTweets: Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I'm starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
@Thedudish: As my girlfriend was trying on jeans, a clerk asked her "Need a bigger size?" I saw the look on her face and went to make room in the trunk.