@shhrugg: Ice skating is like walking in cursive
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@loribuckmajor: Removed my spanx slip and accidentally ricocheted myself into the neighbors backyard.
@tweeterreader36: To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!
@PaperWash: [stranded on Mars journal] day 1: rob and I have enough oatmeal to last us 300 days day 2: I ate rob