@shhrugg: Ice skating is like walking in cursive
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@geowizzacist: I just stabbed a pin in my arm. Somewhere out there a bunch of voodoo dolls just said 'Ouch.'
@Playing_Dad: If I had a time machine I would go back to the Star Wars era and kill baby Darth Vader
@primawesome: My mom was the best mom. I hope your mom spends today thinking about what she could've done to get on my mom's level.