@shhrugg: Ice skating is like walking in cursive
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@brunopieroni: No Amazon, I don't want to sort stuff by "Price: High to Low," who are the billionaires who would even make that an option?
@iwearaonesie: *gets out of bed* *steps on something* me: Ugh *turns light on* wife: What is it? me: The cat caught another smart car
@E_lok44: The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is.