@tarashoe: i'd be extra scared if a break-in occurred while i was in the shower and the burglar saw me in there, fully clothed and eatin my soup
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@KevinFarzad: Sick and tired of cooking videos assuming I have 40 perfect little bowls to put ingredients in. Grow up
@ThaJawn: *gives up horoscopes for Lent *caves and reads horoscope "You are weak willed and lack conviction"
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Women like an adventure ME: Okay [later on phone] ME: Are you having fun? DATE: *clearly upset* YOU LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
@david8hughes: [in the ambulance] Paramedic: what's your blood type? Me: whatever. I'm not fussy