@juliussharpe: I'd be less scared of trying to take a gun from a mugger than I am of taking an iPad from my kid.
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@RobertManchild: My car is 13 years old. I like how the ceiling fabric hangs down and makes it feel like a blanket fort.
@FattMernandez: I haven't seen a kid on a leash in a while. I guess parents started releasing them back into the wild.
@olerunkbitch: Made a weird face in the mirror this morning and I looked like Ted Cruz. This is my suicide note.