@ddsmidt: I'd be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
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@Mom_Overboard: Baby Timberlake: ACHOO! *Both Timberlake parents reach for a tissue* Justin: OMG we are so... Jessica: DON'T say it. Justin: ...N*Sync
@TheTweetOfGod: The question is not "Why is Instagram not working?", but "Why does the world need another picture of you?" #instagramnotworking
@bidenandobama: Biden: why can't I log into my twitter what's everyone talking about today Obama: