@ddsmidt: I'd be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
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@Sickayduh: [Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza
@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.
@Cheeseboy22: A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort; it is equal to one night. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers.