@rorynotroy: id be so offended if a group of ppl just rolled through my room on safari rn as im lounging in bed and just pointed at me and took pictures
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@Tmoney68: George H.W. Bush, age 90, went skydiving yesterday. I'm 45 & I strained my hamstring getting out of my car.
@imagine_vegas: If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
@sploosk: If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year
@Ygrene: [On the phone with the police for the 7th time in 2 weeks] "Sir, again, we cannot arrest your cat"