@beefman138: I'd congratulate you on the birth of your first child, but I have 2 of my own so here's a sympathy card and a case of wine.
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@mydanimarie: Guns don't kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.
@murrman5: are you the girl who types everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *turns to prosecutor and answers his question with dolphin noises*
@AsgardianRose: Me: Why don't I have a boyfriend? God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.