@beefman138: I'd congratulate you on the birth of your first child, but I have 2 of my own so here's a sympathy card and a case of wine.
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@Reverend_Scott: Obama: Wave at the people, Joe. Biden: IMMA POINT AT'EM Obama: Please just wave. Biden:
@KenJennings: Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said "bc time killed the dinosaurs." My kids are never leaving home are they
@FatherWithTwins: If my 5yos are holding something when I buckle them into their car seats, there's a 150% chance they'll hit me in the face with it.
@BromanConsul: My brother goes to "Peninsula High." When the class of 2015 got senior shirts made, no one decided to regulate them.