@ramenfuneral: "i'd do anthony for you" - worst autocorrect fail by me
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@yayraptor: [at a bar] me: hey girl are u a wanted criminal girl: no me: oh ok [to a group of cops] shes not here, search the other building
@okaypup: I wish I was from Finland so when people asked if I was Finnish I could say "no, in fact, I'm just getting started"
@juliussharpe: The Super Bowl is a great opportunity to let 200 million people know your ad agency sucks.