@tumblrstorytime: I'd do the same thing
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@SCbchbum: If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit.
@BlindChow: [hospital] Looks like ur Vine went viral. "Yay!" Sorry ur VEIN went viral…you have a fatal blood disease. "So wait–my Vine didn't go viral?"
@AdderallMomma: Kanye West agreed to play Santa Claus under the condition that children had to ask him what he wanted for Christmas.