@juneohara65: I'd get into a lesbian relationship just to mooch my girlfriend's hair care products.
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@iwearaonesie: *gets out of bed* *steps on something* me: Ugh *turns light on* wife: What is it? me: The cat caught another smart car
@primawesome: Health food? Baby, my body is a '93 Honda hatchback with a headlight out. I'm not about to start putting premium gas in it now.