@Ludacrys414: I'd get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
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@fightforfood: Contrary to obvious physics, you can't attach a ceiling fan to your back and fly away like a helicopter.
@huntigula: Jesus: He who is without sin may cast the first stone *guy with no legs throws rock* Jesus: Seriously? "You said 'without shins,' right?"
@TheBoydP: Guys! I just heard when women ask "Does this make me look fat?" they know we'll say no. What they are really testing is HOW FAST WE SAY IT!
@Fred_Delicious: "sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?" "officer, I'm..." *turns to camera* "double jointed" *cop starts breakdancing*